time to euthanise
this bitter, baleful, broken
bastard of a year
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Author: Alison Eales
day three hundred and sixty-five
rabbits, hounds, and crows;
cranes, earwigs, leeches and fawns;
chickens, ducks, and flies
day three hundred and sixty-four
delightful dillis –
sharp, if silly, shapeshifter,
currently canine
day three hundred and sixty-three
round robin email
highlights father’s shaky grasp
of daughter’s day job
day three hundred and sixty-two
clothes tumbled, machine
chirps ‘money money money’ –
pre-theatre menu?
day three hundred and sixty-one
i’d just like to say
it’s been a bloody good year –
but i’d be lying
day three hundred and sixty
let’s take a moment
to reflect on christmas truth:
monkees were awesome
day three hundred and fifty-nine
dear father christmas,
i have been naughty all year
and regret nothing
day three hundred and fifty-eight
it is christmas time,
there’s no need to be afraid –
except for turkeys
day three hundred and fifty-seven
i keep on hoping
we’ll eat cake by the ocean,
but without the sand
day three hundred and fifty-six
corrections boot camp –
let’s get this bastard finished
and get my life back
day three hundred and fifty-five
day three hundred and fifty-four
proper christmas treat –
my hilarious parents
and their scaredy-dog
day three hundred and fifty-three
in cartman’s wise words,
screw you guys, i’m going home –
easyjet special
day three hundred and fifty-two
little league tonight –
gonna dance my dodgy bones
into submission
day three hundred and fifty-one
dear sadist: i will
look for you, i will find you,
and i will kill you
day three hundred and fifty
don’t these men look wise?
never let it be said that
i don’t do my bit
day three hundred and forty-nine
starting a campaign,
brian pern for number one –
it’s heartwarming stuff
day three hundred and forty-eight
depression; hormones;
existential crisis; drink;
all of the above?
day three hundred and forty-seven
dann on bill english –
“untresting kittle of fush” –
love you, new zealand
day three hundred and forty-six
mitchell brothers live –
stock, aitken and waterman
must be involved here
day three hundred and forty-five
panto-opticon –
shambolic hilarity,
historic beauty
day three hundred and forty-four
a heart abandoned
to sleeping bags, bars, and boats
quickly gathered dust
day three hundred and forty-three
sports telly in dutch –
felt like amstelveen, without
the crap that followed
day three hundred and forty-two
candlelight and strings –
good chance i’ll be welling up
at wellington church
day three hundred and forty-one
i tortured the flame
with threats of suffocation,
last-minute reprieves
day three hundred and forty
continent googles
‘how to move to austria’,
hoping it can hope
day three hundred and thirty-nine
an island advent –
university chapel
at six forty-five
day three hundred and thirty-eight
learned the ‘which / that’ rule –
another certain route to
needless annoyance
day three hundred and thirty-seven
crowded subway train,
two lads taking up four seats –
delicate bawbags
day three hundred and thirty-six
tried to fight it but
i’m sure – if you’re bad to me
i will like you more
day three hundred and thirty-five
hadn’t realised
how thinly the saints are spread –
must have assistants
day three hundred and thirty-four
gonna see these two
in a big armadillo –
suitably surreal
day three hundred and thirty-three
i think that i shall
never see a poem as
lovely as a three
day three hundred and thirty-two
monday – mum and dad;
tuesday evening – vic and bob;
comedy close-run
day three hundred and thirty-one
masters mother hen,
proud of her wee chicks: levis,
emily and josh
day three hundred and thirty
beautiful morning –
uninterrupted sunshine
and glittering grass
day three hundred and twenty-nine
crazy déjà vu,
i swear i’ve been here before –
glitch in the matrix
day three hundred and twenty-eight
tangles, kinks and frizz –
two good hair days in a row?
too much to hope for
day three hundred and twenty-seven
locked in a cupboard,
i overheard a murder –
thank you, subconscious
day three hundred and twenty-six
swinging through the train,
from one handrail to the next –
subway chimpanzee
day three hundred and twenty-five
hangovers and hugs –
haverers are heading home
to have and to hold
day three hundred and twenty-four
growing family –
i gained a sister today,
and she is the best
day three hundred and twenty-three
off to catch a train –
printed off my e-tickets
like a technophobe
day three hundred and twenty-two
thursday wears a shroud,
thick cloud and faraway sun –
might as well be night
day three hundred and twenty-one
wonky skeleton,
the gift that keeps on giving –
snap, crackle and pop
day three hundred and twenty
this moon is small; the
moon out there is far away
(the clouds are closer)
day three hundred and nineteen
caught myself singing
“imagine all the people
doing all that stuff”
day three hundred and eighteen
at central station,
ticket machine amateurs
and random backflips
day three hundred and seventeen
shopping for makeup
when you’re not a girly girl
is bewildering
day three hundred and sixteen
post-choir journey hell –
thursday night is subcrawl night,
arseholes everywhere
day three hundred and fifteen
i had a nightmare –
started with bowie dying,
went downhill from there
day three hundred and fourteen
well, twenty sixteen,
you can go and fuck yourself
with a rusty knife
day three hundred and thirteen
dear america,
please don’t arse this whole thing up –
best regards, the world
day three hundred and twelve
young prima donna
studies scores on the subway –
silent recital
day three hundred and eleven
bellahouston park –
disappointing dearth of dogs,
still worth a wander
day three hundred and ten
screaming and banging –
bright, brilliant explosions
of colour and heat
day three hundred and nine
just plugging away,
one more day ‘til the weekend…
just plugging away
day three hundred and eight
red for reflection,
white for imagination –
remember, but hope
day three hundred and seven
ode to polly jean,
a west country genius,
rock and role model
day three hundred and six
in my summer dress,
kicking through the autumn leaves –
a spring in each step
day three hundred and five
may your bones be chilled
and your goosebumps have goosebumps –
happy halloween
day three hundred and four
some days, i feel like
a wood louse in a world of
wood-effect flooring
day three hundred and three
well, this isn’t fun –
should be in the cca –
am in bed, in pain
day three hundred and two
looking forward to
an extra hour in bed
more than usual
day three hundred and one
misheard: ‘belief is
a beauty thing’, not ‘billy
is a guinea pig’
day three hundred
i like round numbers –
actually, three hundred
is triangular
day two hundred and ninety-nine
when it comes to war,
genocide, persecution,
we are all children
day two hundred and ninety-eight
day two hundred and ninety-seven
please do not befoul
your beautiful new boat with
puns and comic sans
day two hundred and ninety-six
at the abc,
i will re-live my first gig –
hodges and peacock
day two hundred and ninety-five
yes, i’m gonna wear
summer dresses all year round –
whatcha gonna do
day two hundred and ninety-four
happy subway game –
finding something good about
every passenger
day two hundred and ninety-three
blue balls, in their sack,
dangling from banana hook –
vaguely sinister
day two hundred and ninety-two
jonathan richman
is my earworm for the day –
could be so much worse
day two hundred and ninety-one
sleepy, hungry, sore,
slightly deafened in one ear –
big weekend indeed
day two hundred and ninety
off to barrowlands
for a refined evening with
aidan and malcolm
day two hundred and eighty-nine
productive evening,
tearing through the to-do list –
busy old beaver
day two hundred and eighty-eight
each year, a new thread
is lashed tightly to the loom;
our friendship, the weft
day two hundred and eighty-seven
if you voted leave,
i am gonna track you down
and steal your marmite
day two hundred and eighty-six
day two hundred and eighty-five
begin, observe me –
choose your weapon from the list
i have assembled
day two hundred and eighty-four
we are observing
your earth, and we’d like to make
a contact with you
day two hundred and eighty-three
it would appear that
october has forgotten
how to october
day two hundred and eighty-two
‘what’s the opposite
of a supergroup?’ i asked –
‘the farm’, he replied
day two hundred and eighty-one
locomotive fans –
renton, begbie, sick boy, spud –
good, wholesome drama
day two hundred and eighty
back to madrigirls –
i have missed my singing pals,
first alto young team
day two hundred and seventy-nine
day two hundred and seventy-eight
wouldn’t it be weird
if men’s facial hair fell out
during the autumn
day two hundred and seventy-seven
german love machine –
he is very hardworking
and oh so quiet
day two hundred and seventy-six
between the runners
and late delivery slot,
i’m trapped in my flat
day two hundred and seventy-five
got a new iphone –
but more excited about
new washer dryer
day two hundred and seventy-four
i spent yesterday
as schrödinger’s employee –
leaving and staying
day two hundred and seventy-three
human arthropods
twitch within sinister swarms
where limbs become wings
day two hundred and seventy-two
dressing to impress,
google-raiding to persuade –
here we go again
day two hundred and seventy-one
glasgowversary –
i’ve lived in this dear green place
for seventeen years
day two hundred and seventy
loch lomond; glencoe;
ben nevis; urquhart castle;
loch ness; pitlochrie
day two hundred and sixty-nine
mid-doom, avid peek:
war won, deified, now raw –
keep diva-mood dim
day two hundred and sixty-eight
met my new neighbours,
they are creepily quiet –
long may they remain
day two hundred and sixty-seven
i shall spend the day
being extra visible
in a halfgay style
day two hundred and sixty-six
‘we filled the room with
flowers and a goat’ – stevie,
wrapped around my dreams
day two hundred and sixty-five
noticed on night-bus –
only the drunk passengers
tackle the top deck
day two hundred and sixty-four
beekeeping lesson –
found an excellent conker,
saw a smashing fox
day two hundred and sixty-three
water, viewed from air –
sadness suspended in sun,
blue hanging in blue
day two hundred and sixty-two
‘melt, melt, melt’, he sighed,
door closing – ‘what do you mean?’
‘it doesn’t matter’
day two hundred and sixty-one
seagulls dropped mussels;
cormorants worshipped the sun;
herons stood in wait
day two hundred and sixty
where blue met turquoise,
my feet controlled the ocean –
on land, i stumbled
day two hundred and fifty-nine
in isolation –
in fog, in steam, in silence –
i broke like a wave
day two hundred and fifty-eight
unravelling rope;
plaiting it into itself;
stitching with red thread
day two hundred and fifty-seven
a perfect evening –
scrabble; riesling; crackers; cheese;
quiet company
day two hundred and fifty-six
after months of light,
i finally reached darkness –
saw a shooting star
day two hundred and fifty-five
i stood the test of
time, and took the step to find
bum’s great adventure
day two hundred and fifty-four
dear washing machine,
how does a drawer made for soap
become so filthy
day two hundred and fifty-three
one day, my pet dog
will bound happily from my
imagination
day two hundred and fifty-two
for six minutes, he
shuffles his car back and forth –
still nowhere near kerb
day two hundred and fifty-one
indian student
dressed like a duck in my dream –
apologies, mate
day two hundred and fifty
philae’s comet hell –
befriended volleyball,
ate space coconuts
day two hundred and forty-nine
flipping the bird at
the student loans company –
great photo op, lads
day two hundred and forty-eight
epic witch school dream –
flying ballet; crazy golf;
deportation; death
day two hundred and forty-seven
life’s little pleasures –
the satisfying bite-snap
of a raw mushroom
day two hundred and forty-six
gulls follow trawlers
when they think sardines will be
thrown into the sea
day two hundred and forty-five
oldest fossils, found
in undulating rock bands –
insert punchline here
day two hundred and forty-four
stomach bug, day three –
dehydration setting in,
pass me my thermos
day two hundred and forty-three
she was smoke, red wine,
and sodium valproate,
dancing in my mouth
day two hundred and forty-two
new personal best –
gouged a hole in my finger
with my own thumbnail
day two hundred and forty-one
marking a sad day –
one year since i said goodbye
to my little cat
day two hundred and forty
two subway hipsters
exchanging competitive,
disdainful glances
day two hundred and thirty-nine
girl disabled, not
by her shit eyesight, but by
her shitting guide dog
day two hundred and thirty-eight
you, with the man bun,
twirling your pointy moustache –
your fly is undone
day two hundred and thirty-seven
turned up to a gig
late, unprepared and naked –
anxiety dream
day two hundred and thirty-six
critters in my flat –
bees are fed, spiders cuddled,
houseflies squishified
day two hundred and thirty-five
struck by sudden wave
of confusing excitement –
can’t wait for christmas
day two hundred and thirty-four
sunday afternoon
peace shattered by bin lorry –
beep, beep, brum, whirr, crunch
day two hundred and thirty-three
how i love to hear
the rain against my window…
uh-oh, walking tour
day two hundred and thirty-two
my strangest habit –
having showers in the dark –
never happier
day two hundred and thirty-one
there’s a man with a
mullet going mad with a
mallet in millets
day two hundred and thirty
dirty fingernail –
it was a chocolate button,
not a one pound coin
day two hundred and twenty-nine
things you don’t see now –
‘under construction’ pages –
web must be complete
day two hundred and twenty-eight
dandelion seeds –
cloud after cloud after cloud
through open windows
day two hundred and twenty-seven
sunday afternoon –
fancied an uplifting film,
not cathy come home
day two hundred and twenty-six
facebook stalking fail,
accidental friend request –
curse these podgy thumbs
day two hundred and twenty-five
ten marks out of ten
for my local hospital –
would be scanned again
day two hundred and twenty-four
internal jukebox –
hellish mix of boz scaggs and
christine and the queens
day two hundred and twenty-three
horror of horrors,
had the heating on last night –
lesser-known horseman
day two hundred and twenty-two
it’s a special day –
come on and do the conga,
train across the floor
day two hundred and twenty-one
delay the pleasure,
don’t eat the marshmallow yet –
you might just get two
day two hundred and twenty
purple, pink and red
emerge unexpectedly –
late summer blossoms
day two hundred and nineteen
kelvingrove bandstand –
super furry animals,
good friends, and sunshine
day two hundred and eighteen
boa sorte a
todos no rio para
os olímpicos
day two hundred and seventeen
flask markings allow
oral volume measurement –
ten centilitres
